Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The Worst Marketer in the World. Confessions of a Decent Consumer.

 Mr Frank, I got annoyed. 
 -Mmm..- answered Frank rushing out from the bathroom, still with a toothbrush in his mouth. 
 No, not because of that- explained I, despite the fact that Frank still hasn't suggested anything as far.- It's because of soething which happened in January. Anyway, let me tell you the story. 

I was sitting on a tube holding my treasure like I was expecting in any minute someone to come for it. Someone to unmask me, betray me and leave me with a theatrical stiletto inside my heart. I holt my purse tightly, trying to hide any presence of my little precious things wrapped in a Boot's bag. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend that it didn't happen. I hadn't just bought Aussie. The adverts on a tube were not for me and I was totally immuned to all this marvellous, high quality pictures and encouraging quotes surrounding me in public spaces. But no matter how I tried it was a fact: both shampoo and conditioner from Aussie line Volume were just there, in my hands. Trying to erase the feeling of guilt from inside my chest I got home and decided to try the treasure. All of the marketing love hate issues have gone: it was one of the best conditioner I ever had. 

-Mmm- Frank made a significant movement with his head towards me- what's the conclusion?
He was still holding a handtowell with both hands in a tight embrace.
-Oh Frank, sometimes you stop being an imaginary counsellor and you start to be just a man!
Then I had to explain him the actual story. The most current story ever, nothing else but First Kiss. First Kiss was a video which in the past several days went viral on the Internet. As one of the first people who shared it amongst my friends, I had some information from beforehand. I knew it was sponsored by some clothing brand, anyway no one, neither the director neither Soko, an artist who played the role of one of the strangers and whose song was used in a background, ever tried to hide it. Probably unlike hundreds of haters across the Internet they simply didn't see anything bad about it. Neither did I.

http://vimeo.com/88671403

 And maybe that is why soon I found myself left alone in the arms of Monkey Seduction and wondering: what's the difference between me and the rest of the world?



 After that Internet surprised me more than it managed to do it within the past two years- fist there were Facebook statuses reporting the 'scam'. Then another ones, insulting not only towards the director of the piece but also to those who felt touched by it. During five days I was called an 'idiot' at least seven times, my arts feelings were offended and pointed out as 'silly' and my sensitivity was crossed by and suffocated by a bunch of my Facebook 'friends'. The idea behind it was simple: the farther you go in insults, using a rude and uneducated language, the more dirt you spill out on the world of consumption, the cooler you are. Soon 'First kiss' was treated with a parody, completely non-imaginative, extremely vulgar and tasteless. And there were them, my Facebook friends, laughing out loud with satisfaction which can only be caused by hate, or rather by hateful and sexually driven joke. That was it: the ultimate image of a society of consumption, the real consumption, not for advertisements or goods, but consuming manipulation, hate and anger, which can be shouted out only by violation of basics values of human communication.

 This adventure was disgusting indeed. But what is worth noticing in it is that this is not the first time! It's not the first time when some marketing department invented a creative campain, engaged artists and gave them money to realise a project. And this is not the first time when results are strikingly amazing.


No one ever crucified nor Dior nor David Lynch for this campain. Not being a David Lynch's fan myself, I don't know many of them in person. But I never heard of any of them swearing on Facebook for three weeks just because their idol made a movie in order to advertise a bag.

 Some time ago a clothing brand 'Mango' produced a mini serie called 'What should I wear by Mango', based on 'The sex and the city' pattern and showing Mango outfits on the main characters. I was addicted to that serie. And I was not alone.


 None of these nice, artsy or entertaining pieces would ever be created without a sponsorship of a certain brand. We should all be greatful to nowadays for advertisements having a meaning, not remaining just brief annoying clips on the radio. We should be greatful to the brands who spent their money on production and promotion, because unfortunately many creative and skilled people would never gather that money without them. When you go to National Gallery you don't mind that some of these masterpieces were simply commissioned by the rich of that world. So I hope you can now relax and enjoy 'First kiss' the way I did for the first time, and as I still do turning the back of my head to all these haters.
 And now excuse me, because I am going to treat my hair with my Aussie conditioner. Because as an advertisement on the tube said, it is truly magnificent.



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