Weltzschmerz and a Cup of Coffe. Or what making romanticism work.

 Today I don't feel like writing. I realized that hours ago, trying to create a new exciting post, writing a relation from hunting Victor A. story or at least hoover the memories from my last long journey. At the meantime I took a look at my stories painfully demanding nice endings and my translating work waiting to be corrected. And then this scary thought appeared in my mind: Today I don't feel like writing at all.

 Freud used to say that creating is the response for excessive sexual desire suppressed by social limitations. Following that, the process of creation gets a new meaning for an individual- meaning as something coming from instincts, original and savage. Surprisingly, this statement completely doesn't underestimate creation as a higher process we used to perceive it as- if we notice that sexual instinct was something primary for living creatures, then becoming a creator appears as a natural phase in the cycle. Therefore the need to create is innate and inevitable, a silent destiny of a contemporary human kind.

 - Go and write- once The Guy I Lived With said somewhere between clearing the table after meal and filling the washing machine.- When you don't write, your life seems to be falling apart.

My great authority and ancestor in a soul William Faulkner said- don't be a Writer. Be writing.

Not writing I have to keep me going. Feeling stripping away and confused. And when I close my eyes I have an urge to drop everything and just go away.

 WELTZSCHMERZ

 Romantic terms never sound as good in any language other than German. German language is a right ancestor for romanticism including number of specific terms describing reality. And it's not just a reality- it's a spiritual reality, or, how you prefer, the reality of the state of mind. 

 'Weltzschmerz'- the pain of the world, is one of the most genius words ever to describe the expression based on senses. It's a mental condition leading to physical pain, caused by a confrontation of the individual with the world or, rather, how the one perceives the world. Though in the original romantic theory 'the pain' never happened by itself. The first input for the feeling was an object hidden in one's mind, seen as a distant object and causing the feeling of missing. Then all of the senses created the process of feelings related to the object, leading to the sudden melancholy and separating an individual from others through personalization of the sentiment. Developing this bunch of feelings never allowed the one to connect with reality, as the level of abstraction of feeling towards or around the object prevented any objective evaluation. Following that, 'the pain of the world' has basically no input from the outside- it's about how we think, about how we feel.

 The saddest and the most fatal part of the pain of the world was an impossibility of expression or, followed by that, impossibility of creation. The complex sentiments that make you feel that whatever you write or do, or whatever come to you, will remain incomplete. 

 Using the Monkey Seduction medicine for that, I will go to sleep now with a strong believe in the creative force of human kind. It's been a long day.