Although this title might be confusing, no, I don't mean to talk about any new trends or what do guys (or girls) like nowadays. I actually want to ask all of you a question: What does it mean?
I remember few years back when I accidentally watched an interview with somewhat famous model. While talking about cosmetics from time to time she was using a line 'very sexy'. I was watching her face trying to understand what does 'sexy' mean regarding cosmetics and what does she like so much about them. Are they just hot or trendy? But the model herself seemed confused and I found her feeling quite uncomfortable saying loud such a phrase. Then I realized that 'very sexy' was a name of a brand she was supposed to promote... And then both of us, me and the model, felt apparently awkward.
Back then I had no clue that one day 'sexy' would become one of the most present words in my reality. I hear this word approximately three times per day (and I don't watch TV), constantly failing to understand a phenomenon of it.
My personal challenge with a word 'sexy' is its' such a close relation with visual aspects. Recently I was passing Sainsbury's in Kilburn, going to a brunch at my friends' place when some guy smiled at me and all of a sudden screamed: 'Hey girl, smile, it's a beautiful day and you're sexy'. I perceived it as quite nice just as nice can be receiving a compliment from a stranger. But then a strange shadow of thought has passed through my mind: 'What did he actually mean?' He probably found me attractive. But he didn't shout 'you're attractive' (and I rarely hear that word at all). He didn't say 'you're pretty' wich could be actually more appropriate to be said to a stranger. Since that the word 'sexy' has been buzzing in my head- and I felt the same awkwardness that I had felt back then, watching the interview with a model. Something wasn't quite right about it.
For over the past three years I can barely remind any other compliment I received than 'sexy'. And that is from people including my boss and even my mather.
SEX APPEAL
The father of a word 'sexy' was an old good sex appeal. Sex appeal used to mean a sexual attractivity, which scientists would define as 'hormons appealing to others'. The line between sex appeal and visual values though was quite clear at the beginning: what is attractive, not necessarily has to be pretty or even pleasant to watch. On the other hand, what is considered pretty or goodlooking not necessarily needs to appeal to once sexual tastes. Is it all about sex then?
MR FRANK
-It's a matter of sexualization of a society- said Frank carrying on with his nailfile. -Once sex stopped being a taboo and people can talk about it openly, it dominated our perception. We associate sex with pleasure, adrenaline, but also a feeling of safety. And these are qualities we all search for in every experience in our life, including meeting people.
-Oh Frank- sought I- when you talk about sex, everything seems so sane.
MR CHARMING
-It's just a matter of taste- would Mr Charming say if the tube strike didn't stop him from coming over.- Words related to visual experiences, such as pretty, goodlooking or even beautiful resonate with an objective point of view and therefore indicate a distance. Words like 'hot' or 'sexy' are more personal, because they refer to one's personal needs and tastes. In practice it means that being sexy is to really appeal to what somebody likes.
DISAGREEMENT
There is almost hundred percent match that a person considered as 'sexy' will be also perceived as 'attractive', 'goodlooking' or at least 'pleasant to watch'. The visual part of a 'sexy' is impossible to avoid. The word had gone global too long time ago. The word you will likely hear from your colleagues and flatmates next time you wear your favourite dress will be 'sexy'. And they won't be thinking about sex- the word 'sexy' is a phenomenon because it somehow become the most demanded to hear, because when we hear 'pretty' or 'goodlooking' we seem disappointed. We all want to be sexy. And this is exactly where the problem begins.
I don't mind appeal to someone's taste. But if it is, or at least is meant to be, a sexual taste, then the place where it's suitable to say it loud should be one's bedroom. And the circle of people allowed to use it should be strictly limited.
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