As the Valentine's day is approaching (wait a minute, it's actually already here...) I have been spending some little time to figure out the best ways to tell the other person how much you like them. Yes, there was a person whom I like to tell so, but (as The Guy I Was- Not That Recently Anymore- Dating used to point out) communication is not my strongest side. Frank is still sleeping hung overed after a Happy Monday so I had to take this challenge myslef- what is the best way to tell the other person you like them and not to fool yourself, be understood and open a fair and respectful conversation. The answer is: there is no such a way.
Although my contemplation was interrupted by Miss Evie Babylion who told me an absolutely compelling story. There used to be a guy who liked her so much, but she didn't share this attraction. One day he left her a message seeming to be a voicemail one, starting with (...) and followed by a suggestion that they both should spend more time with each other. She told me there was something about this message which made her reciprocate the interest and she actually wrote- yes, let's meet... Unfortunately the reality has come across and the story didn't get its' deserved happy ending.
- We never had a time to meet- sought Miss Evie Babylion- he's actually married by now. And he's an alcoholic.
I actually had a talk recently with my dear friend Anees when I insisted I have no problems with self expression. And I owe him an apology because there is one big problem I have found: I do everything my way.
So here are my ways figured out and written down over this night:
1. Hey, man, I actually like you. I mean, you know how this shit works, right?
Needs definitely no further comment.
2. I thought that maybe we, I mean me and you, could spend some time together.
Especially recommended if the person lives in another country, on a different continent and in a different time zone.
3. My computer is broken, could you please come over and help me? It's really urgent!
Worth noticing that in like ninety percent of such cases the second person is not an IT technician. And is not aiming to be one.
4. Do you speak Welsh?
This question itself is so ridiculous that it just has to be an excuse.
5. Moi je me dis que c'est toi!
Not recommended if the person doesn't speak French. And even less if they do.
6. I would love to tell you something, but everything I got to say is pornography.
It was actually A. who once DID receive such a Valentine card. I found it so unbelievable I had to look at it twice.
7. Hi.
Sometimes that line speaks for itself.
8. And then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid like...
While saying that singing is obligatory, preferably with Frank Sinatra's voice. You will do yourself a favour if you forget the lyrics.
9. I think you are a really funny, intelligent and comprehensive person. I am very fond of you.
Now are you going to offer a yoga class?
10. Fuck it, I'm crazy about you! Come on, it's just one coffee! You don't lose anything, you never know if you don't start to fancy me if you know me better! Don't be like that, for God's sake!
I'm feeling like leaving that one with no comments too.
So after I got drunk with my own sense of humour, I'll leave you all my dear readers in peace and silence. It's almost 3am so time to go to sleep! At least in my time zone.
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