On one day in 1994 I was watching figure ice skating championship, as I always used to do. It was a real feast to me, the day when it was coming, and I was looking forward to it long time before. I am certain about it, even though I cannot remember it very well. But that day, in 1994, I remember it clearly. There was a girl with a braid in a red dress, who suddenly stopped in the middle of the ice and started to cry. Her lace was broken. This is what I remember: her lamenting face, and the lesson- that no matter how far on top are you, your dreams can always fall into pieces.
That image came back to me after more than twenty years. Only to discover, that I didn't know the real story behind it. The story of Tonya Harding.
Let me tell you a story about two girls. One of them used to call another one a princess, but it was not a fairy tale they lived in. Despite that, a princess she said, with a cheeky grin on her face, but that's the way she was, another one used to answer with laughter. The way she was, spiky, distant, reserved you would say, but benevolent, as the other one always said, reliable and always standing out for her friends. The way she was, the other one liked it, even though she knew there was some 'old rivalry' between them, as she laughed, such a long time ago. But what she didn't know was that rivalry may pass away. While jealousy always remains. Because jealousy, you see, is way more dangerous than rivarly. Jealousy means you have something she never will.
My mom always said we should be cheering for girls from former Soviet Union. A life of a girl from behind the Berlin Wall was nothing like of those on the west. It was not meant to be, that's the matter of history. But I was just a girl in front of TV, born on the wrong side of the world to be a princess. I admired American girls, girls like from the movies, girls born in Disneyland, with good names to conquer the world. The girl with the broken lace was called Tonya Harding. And she was the real American dream story, that story which was never meant to be mine.
For years all I remembered from that moment was her braid, and a dress which I believed to be red. And her face, her face in tears when she realized that her lace was broken. Her American dream was broken.
I cannot recall the circumstances when the crying face of Tonya Harding showed up in my mind once again. It was twenty years later, while I was charging my batteries at home during a break from realizing my own American dream, or rather a mere European-crisis version of it, with all the exhausting upside downs to be a part of it. Maybe it was her laughter when we've last seen each other, something like three months ago, and that look of her blue eyes when she said 'princess' once again.
That flashback of Tonya Harding had made me come back to this story, and discover an even more interesting one behind it. The story surely not that interesting for Nancy Kerrigan, another figure skating icon of my childhood. According to events happening primarily to Lillehammer in 1994, Nancy had been attacked with the purpose of breaking her right leg. Harding's ex-husband had been easily tracked as a person standing behind it, with Harding herself allegedly responsible for the attack (which she keeps denying till today). The story had crossed Tonya's career forever, with a broken lace incident to be a sad end for her. But it also created one of the most amazing stories in American sport: a two girls' rivalry which had gone just so wrong.
Nancy Kerrigan's attack 1994 -raw footage/ January 6th
Looking back at the girls' history, nowadays we still have reasons for compassion for Harding. She worked through hard time in her adolescence, poverty and abuse and had everything to become an icon. Her talent, hard work and versatility are undeniable and saying that Kerrigan had something Tonya didn't is a doubtful statement. Nevertheless, Nancy recovered quickly and won a silver in Nagano, with Harding banned from figure skating representation and switching her career choice to boxing. 'It will always be there'- said Nancy Kerrigan after years, while asked by Harding for forgiveness. Because this entertaining story for mass was actually nothing more than the story of two girls. Two girls with the same dream, which sadly, it was impossible to share.
I was glad I have found this story. Another day I woke up to discover that my leg is only bruised. That I maybe missed some opportunities, but nothing is yet lost and I can come back and compete. I realized that, after twenty years, I have just met Tonya Harding once again.
For years all I remembered from that moment was her braid, and a dress which I believed to be red. And her face, her face in tears when she realized that her lace was broken. Her American dream was broken.
I cannot recall the circumstances when the crying face of Tonya Harding showed up in my mind once again. It was twenty years later, while I was charging my batteries at home during a break from realizing my own American dream, or rather a mere European-crisis version of it, with all the exhausting upside downs to be a part of it. Maybe it was her laughter when we've last seen each other, something like three months ago, and that look of her blue eyes when she said 'princess' once again.
That flashback of Tonya Harding had made me come back to this story, and discover an even more interesting one behind it. The story surely not that interesting for Nancy Kerrigan, another figure skating icon of my childhood. According to events happening primarily to Lillehammer in 1994, Nancy had been attacked with the purpose of breaking her right leg. Harding's ex-husband had been easily tracked as a person standing behind it, with Harding herself allegedly responsible for the attack (which she keeps denying till today). The story had crossed Tonya's career forever, with a broken lace incident to be a sad end for her. But it also created one of the most amazing stories in American sport: a two girls' rivalry which had gone just so wrong.
Nancy Kerrigan's attack 1994 -raw footage/ January 6th
Looking back at the girls' history, nowadays we still have reasons for compassion for Harding. She worked through hard time in her adolescence, poverty and abuse and had everything to become an icon. Her talent, hard work and versatility are undeniable and saying that Kerrigan had something Tonya didn't is a doubtful statement. Nevertheless, Nancy recovered quickly and won a silver in Nagano, with Harding banned from figure skating representation and switching her career choice to boxing. 'It will always be there'- said Nancy Kerrigan after years, while asked by Harding for forgiveness. Because this entertaining story for mass was actually nothing more than the story of two girls. Two girls with the same dream, which sadly, it was impossible to share.
I was glad I have found this story. Another day I woke up to discover that my leg is only bruised. That I maybe missed some opportunities, but nothing is yet lost and I can come back and compete. I realized that, after twenty years, I have just met Tonya Harding once again.
No comments:
Post a Comment